There is much debate in a household wherein a bathroom is shared by members of the opposite sex. Yes, I am talking about the infernal toilet seat.
I was always aware that there was some issue concerning the toilet seat. But wasn’t really sure of the details. I gathered that the lady folk didn’t agree with the way the men left it, and threw a big fuss about it. Now it is kind of odd to be talking about a toilet seat, let alone doing some research and writing up on it; but I felt that since every Tom, Dick and Mary had their opinions out there, I would toss my two cents in as well.
How it all started.
For the sake of women everywhere... please put the toilet seat down after usage, as we'd rather not take the extra second to look before we sit on a toilet. It is a man responsibility after all, and quite frankly it's not that hard. – That was posted by someone on Facebook and it came up on my news feed. It got me thinking. There HAD to be a LOGICAL way to solve this problem. I mean without getting egos crushed and stuff. I was about to simulate the whole situation when I decided to Google it and well, to no surprise someone had already beaten me to it. I’ll link that excellent article later on. Oh and if it’s worth anything, an Indian wrote that. It seems we are of the jobless kind. Or geeks/nerds who deem it appropriate to solve life’s complex situations by means of an algorithm. Just for future clarification, the fairer sex doesn’t run on algorithms. In fact I think they resemble real life “Brownian Motion”. (I’m not really sure if that’s apt, I did make an attempt to research on the topic a bit but was scared by the complex math functions that appeared. Ah, I digress yet again)
Since I already found out the logical answer I was looking for, I decided to try another approach. I wanted first-hand information and so I asked a few women the following questions.
If you were living with a guy, what would your preference be on the way the toilet seat should be left after being used by the guy, substantiate your preference. If the guy failed in conforming to your preference, what would the consequences be?
The responses
I got a wide range of responses; needless to say the majority of them belonged to the school of thought that the guy should put the seat back down after he’s done with his business. However, there were a few who said the opposite (and I was taken aback!). I shall elaborate further. I would like to add a disclaimer; the quotes below are not verbatim, but that’s okay I guess since I shan’t be mentioning any names (and I really can’t be bothered to sift through text messages searching for responses) but I assure you that the quotes contain “no additional masala”. A few responses are listed below.
“I would prefer the seat down.” “…I don’t know why.”
“Keep it down after use.” “…Coz I have to sit on it. So it should be down. Plus it looks ugly with the seat up” “Why should I put it down when you put it up in the first place”
“I would rather have the seat down “ “Coz I have to use my hands to touch that seat thing and put it down!! Eww!!” “If it wasn’t the right position then why would there be a seat”
The most sensible response (with reasoning) was “I would want the lid down as well. That’s because I have a cat now and I plan to have one later as well. Besides, that way both have to lift something in order to use the toilet”
As I mentioned earlier, there were a few responses in favour of having the seat up. Some of the reasoning for that was “It looks better”, “The seat dries faster that way.”
Now for me to analyse some of these responses!
What is with the ‘toilet looking nice’? I don’t get it. It’s a place where one goes to get rid of crappy useless stuff that has no business being inside our body. There isn’t anything pretty about the process. Just get in, finish and get out. If you want pretty go behind a garden bush, perhaps you’d smell some nice flowers in the process. (Holds for both who want the seat up or down for this particular reason)
- Well by extending the logic of the seat is down because it exists, I say the lid should be down as well! (Person agreed to this!)
- For the women who say ‘because I want it that way’, I’m not even going to comment on it. There is absolutely no logic or reasoning in that, just a 100% self-centred attitude!
- It is just about as inconvenient for men to lift the seat up as it is for women to put it down. Think about that.
What random strangers think
Apparently some of the popular reasons stated by women online are
- If the seat is up, I might fall in it. (Seriously? Do you blindly cross a road? Or do you look for traffic first? I thought this was just absurd, until someone I know personally told me that it had happened to her. No Comment.)
- There are chances of me dropping something inside accidentally if the lid isn’t closed. (Butterfingers much?)
- If you don’t put the lid down, I won’t have sex with you. (WOW! Really??)
http://www.icbe.org/seat-up-seat-down/ I’m pretty sure this article is written by a woman. I don’t recommend reading it because there is absolutely no reasoning in it. Just a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude!
http://www.speech.sri.com/people/anand/toiletseat/ This is the article I mentioned earlier. It is well worth a read no matter what sex you belong to. It is an accurate and fair judgement of the whole situation. Not to mention a fair bit of math and logic involved!
My personal opinion
I am inclined to side with the 2nd scheme as mentioned in the 2nd link I’ve posted. But like I said, women generally aren’t very fond of algorithms and such, so I’m pretty sure it won’t work. That being said, having the lid AND seat down does massage both egos as everyone has to do ‘some’ work during a toilet visit and no one feels that they are being slighted. It’s also probably the most hygienic option.
If it was demanded of me to leave it down, I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t and it would probably lead to the end of the relationship as well. I won’t ever demand a woman to cook food because ‘that’s the way it is’. It works both ways. So I don’t expect any “demands” to be made of me either. In fact, I’m pretty sure I can cook better food given a recipe!
If it was requested of me, then I’d do it. Perhaps from time to time I might forget (maybe purposely to remind everyone in the system that I’m obliging to a request!)
If nothing was mentioned, being the kind of guy I am, I would leave it down.
Boy, am I tired of talking about toilets!!
